Hey Big (:
What have you learned You should write a letter to the important person you have lost Okay maybe that's not together now compare to? but I'll try here now still a lot to explain.
two years ago today, I got to know you. The boy for whom I had really done everything. My first love. I'm grateful, because through you I've learned what it means to love someone, but also I could feel through you, as pain is bearable. All because of you. From experience you learn and I must say it was one of the greatest experiences I have ever made. In my head, just like in my heart, you're still there and will, I think, always remain. But not as then. I've learned to come to terms without you. No, we can not say this, I just try to deal with it that is missing something: / I know you I still do not understand, but it's just that there is always one moment in the day there, which is dedicated to you . The memories of you, I will not forget. But I will finish it anyway. Otherwise I do not come on in my life. I do not want to break because I'm waiting for you, as the last few months. I want to live and be free. Not always bear this pain. It may sound as if it were just painful two years, other so it was not. There were good times there. I know how you really are and can be. But I would not spend my whole life to wait on this one tiny part of you. I can not. I hope you are happy, because I wish you and because I do not think you feel bad. Dominic, I want you to finally understand that not everything in life around you or as you probably think me turning. So it is not fact. I have stopped loving you, really stopped and I can not imagine, nor even to start a relationship or let's say I also want to do it. But now we come to the point, what I would like to change. I want the situation as it is at the moment, it changes. I have to live almost a year so to have no contact with you and me it was not good and was aware of every day and that was exactly the reason why I had then reported after the long time with you. & Now I stand here again, at the place where I do not know how it goes, with or without you, and you know that I would want me with you. No, not like you now think again. I would like have a normal relationship with you, not like the weeks after the separation. Not every day contact, do not see each other day and, you know what I am. Just knowing that you're there and not keep asking me to have, are you good or do I need to worried? To know that you are there when I need your advice. The last day I noticed again how it is to be without you and so I realized that I should appreciate it that you're always there for me, or were, not that it is of course:) My biggest wish Once upon a time, to be with you, but now my greatest desire to have you back. As the dude who always stood behind me and stood behind what I did. I can not prove to you that I was always honest with you, in what I have said, there was just only in situations where I was misunderstood, then one has told you wrong. And because of the misunderstanding is now all go wrong? I do not understand and I think I'll understand it too. But you must not only see the bad in me. You have just made a big mistake, but the whole thing from July to January, which I will not go into now on;) Or, as you have me at the time held up as bitch, which I found very hurt, i habs not resented, although I through you in a deep Hole then I fell. You shall not only see what I made bad've Dome, but also what I've done well, that I was always there for you that I'm given everything got what you needed, though you can not always correct on it were. Darling, you know how many times have we promised ourselves that nothing comes between us? How much time we spent together in peace? How many times have you told me that I can always call when something is? I know that I will often have their ears full cry, but you never said that I should stop, that it bothers you, so I could not know that it bothers you. How many times have we rumgealbert and just talk? We were but more like brother and sister. Tell me, what came of it? Where the brother is gone, who would always look after his little sister, where is he? How often have we laughed about some shit? Had anyone at the time said that it is soon over, I would have totally flipped out and would tell the person that it would never happen to us, for you have sworn to me, no one comes between us. But what now? Where is our rumgealber? Where is my brother? Now everything turns to dust! But Dominic, I do not want that and I know you're not even want! You're not the one I've met. Should I now always past you run when I see you, as if nothing had happened? I do not know, but somehow not all that interests you. : / You say that you're interested, but why would you be so cold? Because of the rumors? It used up and not be disturbed because you have always believed me. I realize so slowly that 2 years may go by too fast. I do not know what else to say to explain how I am to tell you that it can not go on like this. I notice now that we have clock 04:04 (: & I need in 3 hours in the school, but you know what it is particularly Someone once told me that the letters of the alphabet. must count to find out who is thinking of you.
A - B - C - D.
Well what do now? : D Okay, now, the fun n hole and back to topic. Maybe I'll tell you what little has happened in recent weeks, Sun So, at school, everything runs as before. I also get no work out or something. In kindergarten, joa, what should I tell you already large, which can ladies in there are still suffering not me and certainly not, since they know that I the Thursday've skipped work before the holidays, but that's me so does not matter. The children, yes, my children are still the old, the Ricco would I take day by day more and more like home, but you know that already. Believe is nothing new: D & Nele has moved permanently to Stuttgart on Friday: / and otherwise, to my parents, what can I say this still great, I'm talking more often with them and they listen to me too, can only help they stop me either, but they could still never. My Dad is still as it, with the also slowly improve, but if he says something crass, then I feel that to say so "in there and then out again." Oh, if we grade on the subject, that was to kick with either invented or otherwise something, because if you think logically, I would hardly ever called by Eva and her talking about it:) To me it was really bad and I really did not indicate where. But even then I have followed the advice of Eva and my parents talked about it once and the rest you'd have to really know yet. Every day there is worse to live in uncertainty and not knowing what you do or whether you're doing well. I would not think we differ in dispute. It should not end up like the last time. I want to just do not know Dominic and I, but the fact that you do not even want? You know, I remember many times about how Marci once said to me that he finds it amazing that you and I still are friends and he has also said that he does not want us to fight us because he wants to take us back in the summer was. Just like last summer just (: Do you remember when Car2Go, the comic Bayern Depp: D I think I need to say anything or the action with the bush and the vodka bottle brother, think it again.. "Abhauaa". . Yes, I know you do not want to look back. But you ought to go, not at all. You shall see in the good times and not in the bad. One thing is clear, the past does not return, for no one, not even for us . I have learned that we can say nothing, because at some point you always lose something, but up Dome I will not lose! I'll just think no more of what used to be, but look forward. I want to understand a new beginning, But thou right this time. No empty promises, and this time everything should be different. A normal friendship, that's all I need. Every day, I got the feeling that time is robbing us. What is already left of us when the world turns more and more, if everything goes by? A shadow without a body? Volatile tracks in the sand? Blurred colors in the wind? What is it? The recognition of the days we wasted, the moments we have not appreciated? The lost and answers the questions that we dare not make, because we thought time would give us already have enough moments to make up for that. What remains? Images of missed opportunities to change the direction on our way and unlived dreams in the sky? By the time that passes, we want back the past in order to do everything differently. To implement all the knowledge in order to record what passed by unnoticed to us, as the time passed us. But it does not feel right. It does not feel right to try to envelop the past with a veil of lies. Would the time we are not all the mistakes that we do know, and let them learn, we would only turn in circles. We would be in one place stand and wonder at some point, why the world looks for exactly the same. The time steals and lies to us. She takes us moments precisely when we will finally robs us of opportunities to make things better. They passed us, without that we are willing, it passes by us, without asking whether we have done everything in our way. The truth is hard to bear. But actually, the time that passed us, we finally reveals what we have missed the greatest gift they can make us, because it leads us to ourselves. Dome say what I want is that we then simply have much else to do, it could not, however, because we thought that this was the right way, but as it turned out, it was not the right way so I would like to make the next time something different. Not with, but not without you. I want to be the next years of your sister and not your friend who loves you, because you have already, which makes me way better than nothing! No, not really, the main thing you're happy, because then I'm happy too. I will not only do they hurt you, but they will not, I hope. But when it is going so far as to be, you know that I'm always open for you and always stand behind you and catch you, no matter what. I'm here and I will remain always there (:.
I stand here in front of me and my life is like in a labyrinth from which I do not find out because I need your help because you're the only one who really know how I think and feel because you were always my brother, whether non-biological or not.
Do you even know how hard it is to have a man forget that you more than your own life was worth? And do you know how it hurts when a man of you once your life was worth before you is this person and talk with you, but it happens to you when you were their foreign? Had I had known that it will be the last time that we get along so well that we smile at the last time that it would be the last hug, it meant the last loving greeting from you would be that you do the last time would be serious with "I love you my little" then I would have tried in every second to keep up with me, but I let you go. Tell me, what have we become? We have become strangers. You've changed so only the "cool" to be and you know what? You also managed! Because you're cool and that cold, but you do not want you to lose so all your true friends who were always with you. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to still be able to experience once like you with a smile on me to come and take me by the arm, that everything you say is serious! I know people change, but I will never forget who you were once!
I think I will now like to come to an end because I simply can not find words more capable of justifying anything or describe can, I feel in the present situation. I also have always the same in the school, which I will then probably sleepy, but I do pretty much whatever. What do they know? Well, ask if you have, then please clarify this here now on the spot with me and honest talk without much around it.
I can not do anything more, except to hope that everything takes its normal course again, but this is now up to you. But even if this is the end now, I want to thank you. You were always there for me no matter how I kake was, I could rely on you forever. And where should I go now when's my bad?
pass up on. And please do not build shit, even though I may no longer be allowed to be with you: / I'll miss you always and carry in my heart.
your little sister ♥
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